Monthly Cycles
by The Anonymous Forgot my name
Summary: She has to deal with the normal burdens of teenaged life-school, dates, little sisters, hurricanes, bridge collapses, family visits, and that accursed time of the month. Well, isn't that just wizard? Bookverse, Muggle-POV, only one (minor) canon character named.
1. Chapter 1

**I wonder how many will be scared off by the title? Oh, well.  
**

**This story is round-abouts two years old. I posted it on a now-defunct forum that was mostly just for friends, and never posted it anywhere. So far as I know, there really isn't anything in here that contradicts canon, but if it does-sorry! I don't expect too many reviews for this one. I, myself, am generally not a fan of OC fanfics, so I have no reason to expect anything for this one. Still, I do like it personally, and I don't think it's terrible, so why not post?  
**

**Also, forgive me if this is not how London teenagers spoke in the Nineties. I'm an American, and my knowledge of British youths comes from Harry Potter and BBCAmerica. **

**Harry Potter and all related matter is the property of J.K. Rowling. I came up with the Muggle of this story, though. **

At age sixteen, Alice Hooper felt on top of the world. Grey eyes were bright as she looked down at Frieda, crammed into the seat before, laughing at a joke from Jacob. Alice should have felt annoyed-he cracked the joke at her expense-but she felt too ecstatic to be angry.

"So Noel Spencer, huh?" Jacob asked, all joking aside.

"He's a year old than us, ain't he?" Frieda quipped as the bus turned and Alice held on to the handhold for dear life.

"Yeah, he is," Alice said, pushing curly auburn hair out of her face. "In Bell's class. Do you know him, Jake?"

"No," he said simply, his arm around Frieda. "I'll ask as Matt about him, if you like." His brother Matthew was in Bell's class.

"Please," Alice grinned. She felt as giddy as a schoolgirl, which, as Frieda pointed out back in school, she wasn't anymore—not for a few months, at least. She hadn't dated since her breakup with Clark Davis in January, though it wasn't as if she tried, what with the end of term to keep her sufficiently occupied.

"So, I know what I'm doin' all summer," Jake said, leaning his head against the bus window. "Sleep, eat, telly." Alice rolled her eyes at him.

"What about me?" Frieda asked, giving him a pouty face.

"You can sleep, eat, and watch telly too," Jacob said plainly, then grinned as Frieda elbowed him in the ribs.

"You, Alice?" Frieda asked.

"Dunno. Probably the same. Only hopefully I'll be doing it all with Noel."

As Jacob muttered "Back to the boy talk," Frieda grinned wickedly.

"Even the sleeping part?" she asked evilly.

"Frieda Jones!" Alice exclaimed, and aimed a playful kick at her shins. Frieda kicked back.

"Do I have to separate you two?" Jacob asked as the bus stopped. "Our stop, babe."

Frieda got up and grabbed her bag from underneath the seat. "Call you later!" she yelled as she and Jacob hopped out of the bus.

Alice took the empty seat left by her friend before anyone else could claim it. An elderly woman sat down next to her. "End of the school term?" the lady asked her with a knowing smile.

"Oh yeah," Alice grinned back, and pulled her Walkman out of her jacket pocket and slipped the ear buds in. Music blared as she let her head rest against the window as Jacob had done. Out the window, she could see the river Thames sparkling ahead, and Alice sat up and looked away.

She had had a mild phobia of bridges ever since the bridge collapse last summer. She was nowhere near the collapse when it happened, but just the thought of the bridge coming down like that, in a split second with no apparent cause, was enough to frighten her. She did alright if she was walking across them, but she hated being driven across. She turned up her music and shut her eyes until they were across. When she opened them, the old lady was looking at her once more with that knowing smile.

"Thinking of that old bridge collapse, eh?" the woman asked.

"I'm not _scared_ of bridges," Alice explained. "They just make me a little…ugh!" she said, motioning with her hands as an explanation when she couldn't think of the right word."

"I wish I could tell you that nothing like that's ever going to happen again," the old woman said, shaking her head sadly. "But I can't. Something bad's going to happen; I can feel it in my bones."

"Uh-huh," Alice's dad claimed that his knees could tell when the weather would be bad.

"I mean it. Watch yourself, dearie," the woman peered into her eyes, as if making sure this warning would stick with Alice.

"Uh-huh," Alice mumbled, suddenly nervous. The way this woman's eyes, dark brown and surrounded by lines, were boring into her own youthful eyes…it was if she were trying to get inside her mind. Luckily, the next stop was hers.

"Well, 'bye then," she said, jumping up from her seat. She darted to the exit, but when she turned around to look at the old woman once more, she was gone. Alice blinked and looked to the seats around where she had sat, but there was no sign of anyone who looked like the woman.

"That's weird," she said to herself. Someone jostled her from behind and she realised she was blocking the exit. She stepped down, embarrassed, and exited the bus.

She started on the walk home, but then suddenly turned around to watch the bus as it continued on. She only started moving again as the bus turned a corner and disappeared. _It didn't really disappear_, she corrected herself as she resumed walking. It just went out of sight. Like the old woman. She must have moved seats now that she had no one to talk to, or else had exited the other way. But if she had done that, Alice would have spotted her on the sidewalk, which she did not. No, she must have moved or else Alice's vision was blocked by another person or something or other. She rolled her eyes at herself for thinking the old woman had just disappeared.

_But what was with that weird warning?_ she asked herself. "Something bad's going to happen. Watch yourself, dearie." It sounded so ominous, so…personal. Like the woman was taking the special time to warn her. These thoughts Alice dismissed as well. She was a loony, plain and simple. The buses were famous for them. Alice thought nothing more of the woman.

"Mum, Dad, I'm home!" Alice called out as she opened the door to the ground level flat. She picked up the mail on her way in and sifted through it. Nothing for her. It was mostly bills, but there was one letter that caught her eye. It was addressed to "Mr and Mrs Andrew Hooper" in fancy lime-coloured script, and sealed with green wax, pressed with a stick and a bone. The image looked familiar, but Alice couldn't place it. Still, Alice had to admire the elegance of the letter. It was very pretty. It must have been a wedding invitation or something formal like that.

"In here, sweetheart," her father's voice rang out from the kitchen. Alice kicked off her shoes and slung off her shoulder bag, leaving them by the door. She entered the kitchen to see her father and Mary at the table, eating peanut butter and apples. She waived the mail at her father, who shook his head, his mouth full of apple. Alice set the mail on the counter and sat down next to Mary.

"You're mother's working late tonight," her father said after he had swallowed and drank a sip of milk. Alice nodded and was about to tell him about the letter when Mary, ever the seven-year-old, cut in.

"Want some?" she asked, pushing the plate of apple slices towards her. Alice smiled and took two slices, not bothering with the peanut butter. She was about to speak when Mary cut in again. "Are you excited as I am that's school's over?" she asked, wide-eyed.

"It couldn't of come sooner," Alice agreed, tipping her chair in relaxation. Her father admonished her, and she set it back down on all fours, but not because of that. Thinking of school made her think about Noel. "Hey Dad, can I go out this Saturday?" she asked.

"With who?" he asked, smiling at the tone of her voice.

"With...a boy," she tried to say this as casually as she could, but she was grinning and could feel her face get a little warm.

"What boy?" he pressed, ever the father.

"A boy from school," Alice replied simply. She got up from her chair to pour herself a glass of milk. She saw the raised eyebrow on her dad's face and gave in. "His name's Noel. He's a year ahead."

"You know I've warned you about those older blokes," her father joked. Alice rolled her eyes.

"He's barely a year older, dad."

Her father regarded her for a moment, scratching at his unshaven chin. "Hmm, I'll have to ask what your mother thinks about it, but it's alright with me."

Alice grinned. "Thanks Dad."

"Does Ally have a new boyfriend?" Mary asked, looking from one to the other.

"He's not my _boyfriend_," Alice said, though she rather liked the thought. "He's just a date."

"What's the difference?"

Alice was spared answering by the front door opening. "Anybody home?" her mother called out.

Her father maneuvered his wheelchair out to the hall. "I thought you had to work late," he said.

"I was," her mother replied, taking off her court shoes and hanging her purse on the hook by the door. "Ally, don't leave your bag in the middle of the floor. The large order I had to work for called at the last minute to cancel. Said they found a similar arrangement for half the cost down in at the competitor's. Well!" She bent down to pick up Mary, who was hugging her legs. "How was your last of school girls?" she asked.

"You smell like flowers, Mummy," Mary said, ignoring the question.

"I work in a flower shop, Sweetie. It's only natural. Oh, Alice, did you pick up the mail?"

"Yeah, it's on the counter," Alice said. "I think there's a wedding invite or something in there. Looked pretty formal."

"I'll look at it later," her mother said, carrying Mary into the family room. Mary followed, after letting her father and his wheelchair go first. "Hey Mum, can I go out Saturday?"

"With a boy?" her mother looked back at her with an amused smile, similar to her father's.

"Ally's got a boyfriend!" Mary exclaimed as they sat down on the couch.

"I do not!" Alice countered.

And with that, her mother pressed her for information, much as her father had. The discussion of dates turned to school, which then turned to work, which then turned to dinner.

The elegant letter, much like the old woman, was forgotten by Alice.


	2. Chapter 2

"So Matt told Jake that Noel's the quiet type," Frieda said that night over the phone. Alice was sprawled out on her bed, surrounded by the contents of her now-unneeded shoulder bag.

"Yeah? That's a change," Alice said with a laugh. With Clark, she never got a word in edgewise. It was definitely a factor in ending the relationship.

"Innit though? He's also wicked smart. Top marks in everything."

"Hmm..." she rolled over on her back, mulling this over. She figured as much. He had asked her out in the school library, where she was returning an overdue book before it was too late. "Hope he's not _too_ smart. Don't wanna feel like an idiot next to him."

"You'll be fine," Frieda assured her.

"Maybe," Alice sat up. "Say, he doesn't have an ex-girlfriend, does he?" She could never compete with a brilliant girl.

"He went out with a girl named Carly for a year or so, but it ended at the beginnin' of the year, so I don't think he's reboundin' on you."

"Hmm..." she said again. "So what did you and Jake do when you got home?"

"Oh, nothing much. Hey, don't go changin' the subject now! So where's Noel going to take you?"

"Food and a show, probably. Though he said somethin' about a picnic if the weather stays good."

"I dunno, the weather's been crazy all year. Remember the hurricane?"

"It wasn't a _hurricane_," Alice scoffed. "It was just a storm."

"That's what the _news_ said, but what about everybody else?"

"Oh, forget about everybody else! What should I wear?"

They talked for a while after that, discussing what to wear to either a movie date or a picnic. Then Frieda invited Alice and Noel out for a day with her and Jacob that Sunday, if everything went all right on the date. Then they talked about what they were going to do the rest of the summer, and about the year that had past.

The conversation took a somber tone as they talked about the five schoolmates who had died that year, all apparently from carbon monoxide poisoning. Frieda said she now knew of no one who didn't have a detector in their home, herself and Alice included. The conversation ended well into the night, when Alice asked Frieda out for a day of shopping tomorrow. They agreed on the plans and hung up.

Alice brushed off the odds and ends from her bed and sank into the covers. She glanced at her digital clock—it was almost midnight. Still, Alice couldn't believe how tired she was. Maybe she was hasty in making plans with Frieda. Maybe she was coming down with something. She felt tired and achy and just a bit sick. _It's probably just my time of the month_, she thought, falling asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning, Alice woke up feeling worse than she had when she fell asleep. She only woke up because Mary had the television on too loud. She groaned and sat up, then promptly fell back to bed when a wave of nausea hit her. She waited for it to pass then slowly sat up once more. She got up and carefully made her way to the bathroom.

She ran the tap and splashed cold water on her face, trying to clear her head. She couldn't get sick now, what if she didn't get well enough by Saturday? And not to mention her plans that day with Frieda. Still, as Alice looked at her reflection in the mirror, she knew her hopes of being good enough to go out were too high. She looked like a mess, with dark bags under her eyes, and her skin even had a greyish tinge to it. Alice groaned again.

"Alice, are you alright?" her mother asked rapping on the door. "I need to get my make-up." Alice opened the door for her mother, who promptly put the back of her hand to her forehead. "You don't look too good, love. Are you feeling alright?"

"No..." Alice mumbled, leaning into the hand. She felt dizzy now, too.

"Well, you're not running a fever. Come out into the kitchen, I'll pour you some juice," With that, her mother ushered her out of the bathroom, lagging just long enough to snatch up a tube of lipstick from beside the sink.

In the kitchen, Alice's father was at the table, nibbling a piece of toast as he read the letter with the wax seal. His face seemed to have an odd look on his face as he seemed to re-read it, before passing it to his wife. "Here honey, read this."

"What is it?" she asked as she opened the fridge. She read the letter as she pulled out a carton of fruit juice. She, too, had a strange look on her face as she read, but Alice didn't care as she slumped into a chair.

"Don't forget, Alice," her mother said, ignoring the open door to the refrigerator. If Alice had any energy, she would have gotten on her mother about that. Her mother was always lecturing her about leaving the fridge open. "You'll be spending all week with your Great-Aunt Samantha."

"Huh?" Alice mumbled and looked at her parents in confusion. When were these plans made? And _what _Great-Aunt Samantha?

"We made the arrangement weeks ago, remember?" her mother said, passing the letter to Alice. Alice held the letter away from her face, trying to get her tired brain to make sense of it. She almost gasped in shock. _Oh yeah, they had made arrangements, hadn't they? _

"Maybe your great-aunt will take you to the doctor's office if you need it," her mother continued.

Her father looked at her in shock, as if he just saw how sick she was. "Are you feeling alright, dear?" he asked. Alice shook her head.

"I was going to get her some juice..." her mother said vaguely, around in confusion. "Oh!" she exclaimed, seeing the carton in her hand. "I'm losing my mind!" she chided herself, closing the refrigerator door.

"No argument there," her father chuckled, opening the morning paper. Her mother playfully smacked the back of his head.

"Better go pack your overnight bag," her mother said, placing a glass of juice in front of her. Alice grinned. "Alright, I'll do it. You just stay hydrated and rest." Her mother left the kitchen, telling Mary to turn down the telly before heading to Alice's room.

Alice sat on the couch late that afternoon, fully dressed and with her things packed. Mary was doing a jigsaw puzzle on the floor by her feet. "I don't remember a Great-Aunt Samantha," she said, holding a puzzle piece to her eye for inspection.

"You've met her," Alice insisted, numbly watching cartoons.

"I don't think I have," Mary went on matter-of-factly. "I don't think she _exists_."

"You're loony," Alice said, grabbing a throw pillow and weakly hitting her over the head with it.

"HEY!" Mary shouted angrily. Alice winced.

"Please no shouting," she mumbled, a hand to her head.

"Well then don't hit me!"

"It was with a pillow!"

"STILL!"

"Girls, no fighting in there!" their father called from the kitchen.

"Sorry!" the girls chorused, glaring at each other. Just then, the door knocked.

"I'll get it!" Mary shouted, jumping up and running to the door, with Alice following behind. Mary threw open the door and exclaimed "You don't _look _our Great-Aunt Samantha!"

Alice had to admit that Mary had a point. The woman at the door had to have been in her thirties, with light brown hair and dark blue eyes. She looked nothing like Great-Aunt Samantha. But then, at the moment, Alice couldn't recall exactly _what_ Great-Aunt Samantha looked like.

"Of course not!" the woman said cheerily. "I'm her assistant, Margaret!" The enthusiasm was enough to make Alice feel sicker. "I'm here to take you to her, are you ready?" she asked, looking over Mary and straight into Alice's eyes.

"I guess," she mumbled. She went into the kitchen and kissed her father on the cheek. "'Bye, I'm leaving."

"Have fun," he called out as she walked back to the door. Margaret was crouched down at eye level with Mary, seeming to have a serious discussion with the child. Mary was wide-eyed.

"Is she bothering you?" Alice asked Margaret, grabbing her bag off the couch.

"Not at all!" Margaret exclaimed, rising. "We were just having a discussion about magic."

Alice rolled her eyes and ruffled Mary's hair. "See you later," she said, heading out the door with Margaret. Mary met them at the door.

"Goodbye!" she shouted at their backs, waving madly. "Tell Great-Aunt Samantha I said hello!"

"I thought you didn't believe in Aunt Samantha," Alice called back over her shoulder, but Mary just continued to wave, a happy grin on her face.

"_Great-_Aunt Samantha," Margaret corrected. She led Alice to a beat up old car, where she opened the door for her. Alice got in and glanced back towards Mary. She was _still_ in the doorway, waving both hands energetically. Alice waved back.

"All settled in?" Margaret asked cheerily. "All 'buckled-up'? Good. Now, let's see," she muttered, looking at the steering wheel. Alice leaned her head back on the headrest and looked up at the tattered headliner. The car came to life with a loud BANG that startled both of them.

"That wasn't supposed to happen," Margaret said, frowning at the wheel.

"Will this car be able to take us to Great-Aunt Samantha's?" Alice asked doubtfully.

"Oh, it should take us where we need to go," Margaret said, cheerful once again. She eased the car out and drove off.

"So you're not feeling all that well?" Margaret asked. Alice, eyes closed and head back, grunted. "Well, we'll be able to help that at Great-Aunt Samantha's house."

"Yeah," Alice mumbled, closing her eyes as they passed over the bridge.

"Still afraid after the bridge collapse, I see."

"Yeah."

"It's only going to get worse from here," Margaret said softly. "You take care, now."

Alice opened one tired eye to look at her. "A woman on the bus said that to me yesterday."

"Did she now?" Margaret asked distractedly.

Alice must have fallen asleep, because the next thing she knew, Margaret was gently tapping her on the shoulder and saying "We're here!"

Alice lifted up her groggy head and looked outside the window. The car had stopped at a shopping district. The sidewalks were crowded and the road was busy. Alice got out of the car, leaving her bag. "Great Aunt Samantha doesn't possibly live here, does she?" she asked.

"Of course she does!" Margaret exclaimed. She put an arm around Alice and led her to a window display, empty but for a few mannequins. Alice was about to quip that she was doubtful the place was open, but Margaret put her face to the glass and began speaking to the mannequin. Alice squinted up at her and was about to speak again, but then Margaret said, "Come along, Alice," and made to lead her into the glass, but Alice stopped and exclaimed.

"But it's glass! We can't go through that!"

"Of course we can!" Margaret said cheerfully, tightening her grip on her shoulders. She led the struggling Alice into the glass, and the Alice stopped struggling, as there was no glass to go through.


	4. Chapter 4

Alice looked around amazedly. All around her there was an assortment of the strangest people she had ever seen. Oddly dressed people in bathrobes, many of them lime green. _Lime _reminded Alice of the fancy letter. She giggled. There was a tired looking man sitting in a row of chairs, holding the the leash to a little girl. A little girl with the head of a Dalmatian. Alice blinked and looked around some more.

A frightening looking man with red skin and large green boils was running through a door at the other end of the room.

Alice was nearly knocked sideways as a man strode past her and joined a line near the door. He seemed normal enough, but then he sneezed, and large purple flames came out of his nose, singeing the person next in line, a woman with branches sticking out of her head. The branches caught fire, and the woman started yelping, but then a man in lime robes rushed over, brandishing a stick. Water came from the end of the stick and extinguished the flames. The woman calmed down, but continued to glare at the man.

Alice could not help but laugh.

Also in line was an elderly woman who was barking incessantly. In front of her was a welcoming desk of sorts, where a bored looking receptionist was telling the barker "Madam, I can't help you if you if I don't know what you're saying." Above the welcome desk was a television set, where a silver-haired woman was on screen. The woman seemed to catch Alice's eye and wink at her, but that was just a trick of the angles. At the bottom of the telly was a plaque that said "Dilys Derwent" engraved in it.

Oh. It was not a telly. It was a painting. It was a moving painting.

Bellow the painting was a symbol. It was of a crossed stick and bone. Alice's memory jogged. She had seen that symbol before.

"I've been here before," she told Margaret simply.

"Yes you have," Margaret said soothingly. She began to lead Alice past the line and towards the doors. As they passed the welcome desk, the receptionist called out "Cutting it a bit close, aren't we Margie?"

"Please tell Healer Smethwyck that Miss Hooper is here," Margaret replied, leading Alice through the door. Before they went through, Alice had one more look behind her, expected to see the mannequins. There were no mannequins, or windows. Just a wall. She turned back into the doors, towards stairwell. "Up the stairs, that's a good girl," Margaret told her, helping her up the first few steps.

Alice followed her up one flight of stairs and through another set of doors. They entered a hallway filled with many doors. Margaret led her down the hall, and Alice took peeks into the opened doors. Most of them contained beds filled with people...or things. One room appeared to be a kitchen. Another room looked like outside, complete with trees and birds and everything.

Margaret led her to the farthest door in the hall. She opened it up and ushered Alice into her room. It was her room. Her carpet, her walls, her bed and quilt. Her dresser was in one corner, and her floor was a mess, just like her room-room. This was her room.

"Why don't you put on your nightgown and get settled into bed while I step outside for a mo', alright?" Margaret suggested kindly, and then left. Alice complied, going over to her dresser and pulling out her nightgown. She undressed and slipped into it, and got into bed. The door opened and Margaret came in with a man wearing lime robes. Margaret was now wearing a lime robe too. The man carried a beaker of something that was emitting blue smoke.

"Ah, Alice! It's good to see you again," the man said, reaching out his hand. Alice shook it.

"Same," she said dazedly. Margaret came to the side of her bed and knelt down.

"Alice, this is Healer Smethwyck," she said softly, brushing a lock of hair out of Alice's face.

"Hi," Alice mumbled.

"Now, Alice," Healer Smethwyck instructed "I want you to drink what's in this bottle. _Everything_ in this bottle—to the very last drop. I'm going to have to leave, but I'll come back often to check up on you. Margaret will stay by your side the entire time, alright?"

Alice nodded. "What is it?" she asked.

"Wolfsbane potion," Healer Smethwyck replied, giving Margaret the beaker. He strode out of the room.

"Sit up and drink," Margaret told Alice, helping her sit up. "You need to drink _all_ of it, no matter how much you don't want to, understood?"

"Yeah."

"Do you promise me you will drink all of it?"

"I promise," Alice said, taking the beaker from her and bringing it to her lips. She took two giant gulps of it. Had she not promised Margaret she would drink all of it, she would have spat it out.

She shuddered and pushed the beaker away. Margaret gently pushed it back towards her mouth. "It's disgustin'," Alice mumbled.

"You promised me you would drink all of it," Margaret reminded her sternly. Alice nodded and accepted the rest of the potion. When she was finished, Margaret placed the empty, but still smoking, beaker on Alice's nightstand and helped lower the girl into bed.

"I feel funny," Alice said, her words slurring together. Margaret pulled the covers over her and tucked her into bed as her mother might.

"I know," Margaret said.

"I'm tired. Did the wolf potion do that?" Alice asked.

"No, that's just what happens in your condition," Margaret replied. "Rest now; it will all be over soon enough."

Alice nodded, her eyes beginning to droop. She still had one more question, though.

"Where am I?"

"You're at your Great-Aunt Samantha's house," Margaret told her gently.


	5. Chapter 5

The beat-up old car pulled up to the flat.

"Goodbye, Alice Hooper," the woman at the wheel said cheerfully. "See you next month!"

Alice grinned at the woman and grabbed her overnight bag. "Yeah. Next month!" She stepped out of the door and closed it behind her. She took a step away from the car but then turned back. She bent down and tapped on the glass. The woman rolled down the window and asked "Yes?"

"Thanks for the ride!" Alice told her. The woman smiled.

"Of course!" And with that, she drove on. Alice watched her go, until she disappeared into the distance. _Disappeared into the distance._ What a funny phrase, Alice thought as the made her way to the door. The car did not _really_ disappear as it drove off, it just looked that way. Things do not just disappear like that.

"Mum, Dad, I'm home!" she called out as she opened the door. She kicked off her shoes and dropped her bag onto the floor.

"In here!" Mary's voice shouted from the family room, where she and their father were watching the telly.

"Did you have fun with your friends?" her father asked as she entered the room.

_Friends? _Alice thought. She looked out the window, where the car was. _What car?_ She had just gotten home from hanging out with her friends.

"It was alright, yeah. I'm well starvin', though."

"You know where the food is," her father chuckled. "Your mother should be home shortly."

"Okay," Alice said, flouncing towards the kitchen. "We got any meat?" she called over her shoulder, but not waiting for a response. She opened the fridge and pulled out some leftover chicken. Funny, she did not remember having chicken for dinner recently.

She stuffed a leg into her mouth and chewed hungrily. She was about to pour herself a glass of milk when the telephone rang.

"I go' i'!" she shouted to the family room, her mouth full. "Hew-o?" she asked into the receiver, then swallowed hard. "Hello?"

"ALICE!" Frieda screamed into the phone. Alice shied away from the noise.

"What was that about?" she demanded angrily.

"What do you mean, 'What was that about'?" Frieda shouted on. "What was your whole disappearin' act about?"

"What are you talking about," Alice said, annoyed. "I haven't disappeared."

"Well, you didn't go shopping with me," Frieda listed. "You haven't returned anyone's calls. And, oh yeah, you ditched poor Noel! You practically disappeared off the face of the whole Earth!"

"People don't just disappear," Alice growled into the phone. "Call me when you're ready to act like a normal human being again!" She angrily hung up the phone.

"What was all that about," Mary asked, pulling up a chair and grabbing a piece of chicken.

"I have no idea," Alice sighed. "I have lunatic friends."

"I could have told you that," Mary said, rolling her eyes and taking a bite.

"But you and me," Alice pointed between them. "We're sane, right?"

"_I _am," Mary said, hopping off the chair. "I dunno if I'd call you that or not." And with that, she took her chicken back to the telly.

Alice rolled her eyes and started on another piece of meat. She heard the front door open and her mother's voice call out, "Hello, everybody! Alice Hooper, get in here and pick up your bag!"

Alice sighed and put her chicken down. It was just a normal day of summer at the Hooper home.


End file.
